What If Something Bad Happens And My Child Needs To Contact Me?
As DADS™ — and parents — the desire to protect our children and be ready to run if they need us in an emergency is a noble one.
It’s generally an honest concern that prompts us to ask how our children will contact us if they need us in an emergency.
Let me share a few thoughts.
For me, an emergency is a scenario where immediate action is required to protect or preserve life, health, property, or safety.
Now of course we could all brainstorm emergency situations. But most would be very unlikely to happen — and some even obscure.
The truth is, providing our child a phone may soothe our own anxious feelings as parents and solve the problem of contact in emergency situations, but doing so would create risks that are far more likely — like distractedness, risky or careless online behaviors, and digital dependence that leads to anxiety, depression and loneliness.
If we unplug ourselves and our children from the constant negative content and media barrage, we discover that the world isn’t as dangerous a place as portrayed online.
The benefits I see for my own children not having a phone is that it provides opportunities to learn critical thinking, communication and resilience.
When DADS™ are always on speed dial or text, children can become over dependent.
When a child does not have immediate access to parents — or even peers — it prompts them to start thinking critically to solve their own problems. Life will always present our children problems and however hard we try we won’t be able to fix or solve them all. That’s why it is essential for us to teach our children critical thinking skills.
Not having a phone also forces children to communicate with others who might be in a position to help them in difficult, urgent, or emergency situations — such as leaders, teachers or other parents.
Lastly it can foster a climate where they must learn resilience. There is only one way to learn resilience — facing hard things, passing through them, and realizing we have the ability to do and face hard things.
Our children will never learn how to respond and handle urgent or difficult situations if we do not allow hard experiences to happen without us immediately rushing to answer and solve every question or problem.
As the father of five children I understand the anxiety one feels when a child goes from view and beyond my immediate ability to assist.
But I will not always be there to keep my children safe, so I must teach them to be strong.
I firmly believe that providing my children with a phone would hinder — not help — them to learn, grow and become communicators who can solve problems and face difficulty with courage and confidence.
From my home,
Matthew
Founder, DADS™— Dads Against Devices™
Our pledge.
I will not provide my children with a smartphone or social media access until they become adults. Nor will I allow unlimited, unrestricted or unmonitored access to the internet, streaming services, gaming, or screens in our home. Instead, I will lead my family — by example and instruction — to be present, build relationships, strengthen the body, and nurture the attributes of love, communication, empathy, kindness, gratitude, humility, forgiveness, critical thinking, imagination, discipline, patience, integrity, resilience, courage, wisdom, and faith.