I’ve already given my children devices and social media… what now?
If you’re reading, chances are you’re feeling concerned — either by the changes you are observing in your own children, or by the outcomes you’re witnessing in other kids.
First of all — there’s no judgment here. I’m just glad you found us.
Being a Dad in today’s world isn’t easy. There’s a lot of pressure to conform with social norms — “everyone else is giving their children devices”. And often it can feel like an uphill battle.
But here’s the thing — our role as DADS™ is not to be popular. We’re not here to be their best friend. We’re here to be their leaders, mentors and guides — even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.
But nothing worth while is ever easy.
If your children already have smartphones and social media, unwinding those decisions will be a challenge.
But don’t lose heart. You’ve found a community that wants to help you.
The first step is to initiate the conversation and explain why you’re planning to retract your decision on smartphones and social media.
Where to start
The first step is to start the conversation. Be honest, humble and loving.
Here’s how I would approach it.
Start by expressing love and concern. Tell your children that your goal is to help them become people who are present, resilient, disciplined and capable of developing real relationships.
Explain your reasoning. Share why you are making a change — because healthier boundaries, taking a more guided approach to tech exposure and learning digital literacy will help them create time and space to learn the essential skills or empathy, communication, discipline, presence, critical thinking, real-world connection.
Be honest about the difficulty. Let them know it isn’t going to be easy — for them, or for you. Admit that you aren’t perfect and don’t have all the answers, but that you are determined to love and help them.
Then follow through
After the conversation you have to take action — otherwise the conversation was fruitless.
Taking action may be uncomfortable as it may require
Retracting smartphones
Deleting social media apps
Setting firm, clear boundaries around screen time and device use.
Doing this will be unpopular. It will be painful. There will be withdrawal, resistance, and moments of doubt.
But don’t retreat. Don’t give up.
The world —and especially your children — needs more DADS™.
From my home,
Matthew
Founder, DADS™— Dads Against Devices™
Our pledge.
I will not provide my children with a smartphone or social media access until they become adults. Nor will I allow unlimited, unrestricted or unmonitored access to the internet, streaming services, gaming, or screens in our home. Instead, I will lead my family — by example and instruction — to be present, build relationships, strengthen the body, and nurture the attributes of love, communication, empathy, kindness, gratitude, humility, forgiveness, critical thinking, imagination, discipline, patience, integrity, resilience, courage, wisdom, and faith.